GRACIAS
Posted at 05:50 AM

Thanks for the impromptu career counseling session this morning and the pasta for first break. Yup, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for.

 

Thanks for venting and selling and dreaming with me. Knowing that I am not alone makes every day bearable.

 

Thanks for reminding me why I am here… your youth and passion and laughter and potential inspire me to do/be better.

 

Thanks for the icthyus and the pp and the patience with my mood swings.

 

Thanks for the overnight, the cake and camp memories and stories.

 

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GRACIAS
Posted at 05:50 AM

Thanks for the impromptu career counseling session this morning and the pasta for first break. Yup, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for.

 

Thanks for venting and selling and dreaming with me. Knowing that I am not alone makes every day bearable.

 

Thanks for reminding me why I am here… your youth and passion and laughter and potential inspire me to do/be better.

 

Thanks for the icthyus and the pp and the patience with my mood swings.

 

Thanks for the overnight, the cake and camp memories and stories.

 

Thanks for being my ever helpful co-workers and partners in kingdom-building.

 

Thanks for the dress code and eating sessions and snacks during shift.

 

Thanks for being a role model…of a teacher, a missionary and a WAGOH.

 

Thanks for the email with the dancing and stretching figures…they de-stress me.

 

Thank you for the music and the weekly therapy.

 

Thank you both for life.

 

Thank You that You work where you send me to wait.

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CRAZY MIDSEM SCHED
Posted at 12:24 AM

 

My calendar is a glaring reminder to me that ¾ of 2007 has gone like a flash.

 

I have spent the past months wrestling with God, giving in, then struggling again. And pounding the phone and mood swings every day. But I have been blessed too, more than I deserve, in opportunities for work, study, ministry, friends, etc.

 

 

As I have observed in previous entries, tempus fugit indeed.

 

 

Here goes my crazy sched for the month:

 

 

Monday

 

SVCF UP Manila exec meeting

 

Dental check up

 

SVCF UP Diliman exec CG

 

Work

 

 

Tuesday

 

Laundry and House Chores

 

Study and write papers

 

 

Wednesday

 

SVCF UP Manila exec CG

 

Prayerwatch

 

Work

 

 

Thursday

 

Study and write papers

 

IVPM Ortigas CG?

 

 

Friday

 

Study and write papers

 

IVPM Ortigas CG/LGM

 

 

Saturday

 

Team Breakfast

 

MA Classes

 

Gimik / errands

 

 

Friday

 

Vesper Service and Choir

 

 

This August, all my weekends are fully booked with out of town trips and meetings…and the month should end with the dreaded tooth extraction. However, all the best laid plans depend on whether I wake up on time.

 

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ISKOLAR NG BAYAN
Posted at 06:48 AM

Galing kay riz, patunay na nag-aral ako sa unibersidad...

1. ANO'NG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
    - 002128*

2. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
    - BS BioChemistry

3. SECOND CHOICE?
    - BA Broadcast Communications

4. ANO COURSE MO NA NATAPOS?
    - BA Organizational Communication

5. NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
    - Buti na lang oo.

6. CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
    - Kapag puyat.

7. NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
    - Yes! The best times of my life!

8. NAKA 4 KA BA?
    - 2x parehong math...isang algebra and trigo (Math 17) at calculus (Math 52) 

9. NAG-KA 3 KA NA BA?
    - Minsan, ginapang ko para mabawi yung 4 sa Math 17.

10. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
    - Kapag 7am, optional na yun.

11. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA B??   
    -  Uhm, di ba nga, "Iskolar ng Bayan" lahat ng mga taga UP?

12. ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO?
    - Naku di ko nacompute, basta binigyan nila ako ng diploma at pinagmartsa.

13. NANGARAP KA BA NA MAG-CUM LAUDE?
     - No, no, never never, ah ah ah. Delikadong maging grade conscious.

14. FAVE PROF
    - Andami...let's see... Villar, Adeva, etc

15. WORST TEACHER
    - Math profs.

16. FAVE SUBJECT/S
    - natuwa ako sa geology kahit na sobrang aga niya. Hum1 Literature ata yun, atsaka Comm1. S mga majors, enjoy ako sa Interpersonal Communication.

17. WORST SUBJECT
    - Guess what.

18. FAVE BUILDING
    - Rizal Hall at GAB, yun lang naman ang nasa CAS eh.At yung College of Pharmacy nung madalas magplay ang Tanghalang Batingaw dun.

19. PABORITONG KAINAN
    - Yellow Gate, Gary's, Tokyo Tokyo, Karate Kid, Blue Diner/Read and Feed sa Apacible

20. MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
    - Naabutan ko ata yung 5?

21. LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY?
    - Yup. Nung last 3 sems ko sa college, thesis mode e. Libraries ng diliman at manila.

22. NAGPUPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC?
    - Nagpaimmunotherapy ako sa PGH for almost 2 years every month ako dun

23. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
    - May naging crush? Oo naman. Hanggang dun na lang yun

24. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING P.E. MO?
    - Aerobics, FPF, Fencing at Philippine Games

25. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
    - Hehe. One sem ko lang sila nakasama. 2nd sem, irregular na ako. 2nd year, puro GE na lang kinuha ko na subjects.

26. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG HYMN NIYO?
    - Yup. Pangarap ko matutunan yung alto part ng UP Naming Mahal

27. MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
    - Hindi, pero member ako ng State VARSITY Christian Fellowship, ehem, "We're not athletes but we do run the race" yeaah. - ginaya ko kay riz ito.

28. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
    - Hindi ako halimaw. pero naka-uno na ako sa oral exam / report

29. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
    - Kapeng starbucks oo

30. DITO KA BA UNANG NAINLOVE?
    - Haha. Asa.

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NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
Posted at 06:27 AM

I’ve been in school for almost two months before I had the initiative to write this post. So how does it feel to be back after 2 years away from the academe?

 

Back in April 2005, I never thought I would willingly go back to studying, albeit part time. When I graduated, freedom was uppermost in my mind, and I would not darken the halls of the university again even if I was offered cash.

 

 

Now, I’m back to moaning about my readings (20 books and counting), expenses (I miss my allowance), commute (Makati-Ortigas-Diliman-Makati-Taft&hellip, requirements (2 reports down, tons more to go), and my lamentable tendency to procrastinate.

 

Despite my whines, I am quite happy to be back in school mode. Once more, I am noisily joining in discussions to avoid falling asleep in class and hauling ancient books to the photocopy shop. With my trusty worn flip flops, I am pounding the pavement from one campus to another in the name of research.  I am chasing professors, hunting elusive group mates, cramming requirements and scribbling notes that turn illegible when I accidentally fall asleep in the middle of a lecture.

 

There are differences though. Whereas most of my time as a student was occupied with my various orgs and extra curricular activities, now I am juggling a full time job with my course load, and night shift at that. I often go to school in corporate clothes, have given up my tubao (huhu), do some of my internet research in the office (during breaks), and I am usually the youngest person in class now.

 

It’s a good thing that I took some time off before plunging into my Masters. Those couple of years working gave me perspective in what I want to do with my life…or at least, made me realize what I do not want to do for the rest of it. Work has also given me appreciation for the relevance of studying, the value of time, and the joy of exercising your brain.

 

It will take another 4-5 years before I finish, at the rate I’m going. But if nothing else, I learned that:

 

Good things come to those who wait.
God has perfect timing.
Never say never again.

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ISA PANG SARBEY
Posted at 01:08 AM

1.ano ang problema mo?
- mood swings galore! Alam ko namang dapat hindi na ganito, pero mahirap.

2. bakit sadyang may mga taong tanga?
- Kasi tamad mag-isip?

3. ano ang masasabi mo sa mga taong mahilig manloko?
- Marami akong naeenkwnetrong ganito araw-araw. . .May araw din kayo! (ay...harsh) You need (psychiatric) help. (ayan gentle na)

4. sa paanong paraan magiging masaya ang isang tulad mo?
- mababaw lang mga kaligayahan ko: pagkain, kape, libro, at makatulog ng matagal.  Pwede na rin ang makipag-jamming or makipagdaldalan magdamag sa mga taong namimiss ko na.

5. kung luluha ka uli, ano o sino ang magiging dahilan nito?
- kapag galit lang ako naiiyak. At mabibilang sa isang kamay ang kayang magpaiyak sa akin

6. sino ang taong nagpapasaya sayo ngaun?
- too many to mention

7. bakit hindi sagot ang pagpapakamatay sa mga problemang dumarating sa ating buhay?
- kasi nga, kapag namatay ka, yung ibang tao naman ang mamomorblema sa mga naiwan mong suliranin.

8. kaya mo bang magpakamatay para sa pagibig?
- hu-what? OA naman.

9. ano ang mga pangarap mo sa buhay?
- I want to fulfill my God-given purpose. My dream is to do something and be someone whose impact would have eternal value.

10. kung may tao kang gustong patayin, sino ito?
- wala namang tao…ipis at lamok lang.

11. bakit naman?
- they fly and they bite and they are unavoidable

12. matapang ka ba?
- it depends. Sa pagkain kahit anu basta di panis hehehe.

13. ano ang pinakamalaking kasalanang nagawa mo sa taon na ito?
- disobedience.

14. madali ka bang magsawa?
- sakto

15. ano ang masasabi mo sa mga taong martyr?
- basta ba may maganda silang rason…di mo naman pwede igeneralize ang pagkamrtir bilang katangahan

16. seryoso ka bang tao?
- kapag gutom, inaantok or nagccram.

17. pag namatay ka ngaung oras na ito, marami kayang tao ang iiyak?
- i think so...

18. masakit ka bang magsalita pag galit ka?
- oo. Kahit nga inis lang minsan e.

19. pikon ka ba?
- depende sa mood, pero ngayon madalas ata.

20. huling bilin?
- sagutan nyo rin ito!

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STEWARDSHIP AND THE CROSSOVER POINT
Posted at 08:34 AM

With the demise of my allowance and the advent of income tax, I seem to find myself always strapped for cash. No matter how big the salary increase, bonus, sidelines or commission, my expenses raced effortlessly to keep up and overwhelm me. On top of that, I find myself being slowly but surely being trapped into a 15/30 mentality. When I think of my career path or job opportunities, my shameful first thought is always: how much is the pay worth?

 

Shameful because there is a popular misconception that wanting to have more money is bad. Sure, anyone would love to win the next lottery jackpot or have a distant unknown relative die and bestow millions on them. Yet there is always this cultural and religious tendency to equate wealth with corruption, greed, exploitation, or dishonesty. On the other hand, the poor are often depicted as honest, good, and decent…although are barely able to survive each day. Money seems to be a necessary evil, with people having a love-hate relationship with it. You don’t often hear about practical financial planning in schools or churches, do you?

 

Then I reread the parable of the talents…and the scales feel from my eyes. Jesus tells the story of three stewards entrusted with a portion of their master’s wealth. When the master comes back from a long journey, he rewards the two stewards who had invested and thus increased their share. Woe to the foolish steward who buried his part in the ground; the master sarcastically comments that it would have been better if the steward had put the talents in a bank where it could have earned a (measly) interest.

 

In most expositions I have encountered, the talents in the Gospel were just symbols for God-given gifts or abilities. In the original sense of the passage, talents referred to money. So it is not just practical sense to aim for financial success; it makes eternal sense. You can’t take it to you, but what I do with my financial resources can have a lasting impact.

 

That is why I want to reach the crossover point. Not just because my Father wants me to “live and have abundant life,” but to be a blessing to others through stewardship.

 

What is the crossover point? It has been discussed in a multitude of books, blogs, articles, etc about finances as: that point in time where your investment income and your new work income can sustain you. For me, the crossover point is freedom. Freedom from the rat race, the grind and the tedium. Freedom to do the things I want to do before I die or become too old to enjoy them. Freedom to share, to help, to make mistakes and learn from them, to laugh, to love, to live as I was meant to.

 

I guess it sounds like a hallucination brought about by too little sleep and too much caffeine. But it is possible. And I have been blessed to meet several people who have achieved their crossover goals. Some, like my parents, did it the traditional and hard way: they worked for established companies, rose up the ranks and then retired with a hefty package. Others went into various investments that paid off, although high returns often meant high rewards.

 

In the majority of these cases, these people give and give generously: to relatives, charitable institutions, churches, a street child begging, or an officemate who is desperate to pay an emergency medical bill. I have to keep in mind that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Yes, giving because it feels good or because you think that it will come back to you sounds selfish. But the pursuit of happiness is inevitable. Might as well find mine in Someone who will never change and in doing something that will help others.

 

Also, people are entrusted with the amount they can handle. I have to prove that I can handle more by wisely investing the little I have now, instead of complaining or waiting for a windfall. From what I have observed, I would need a game plan on how to save and invest, mentors to guide my way and a lot of faith and willpower. Rather than go for shortcuts or the quick and possibly illegal way to wealth, the aim here is to get rich slowly and surely.

 

Which goes to my next question: since I am called to be a good steward of my resources, how can I do it? How can I evade the trap of working for money?

 

Why not let it work for me?

 

I guess this is another sign of adulthood.

1 tripped the light fantastic

MORE MATURE MUSINGS
Posted at 03:24 AM

I have always been rather lost on who to emulate career-wise. Although I have had my vision of being a teacher and a tentmaker for half a decade now, I’m just beginning to define what I really want to do. This year, I have been blessed to discover 3 biblical role models to follow: Joseph, Daniel and Nehemiah.

 

All 3 worked as administrators and were in positions of leadership and influence. They were all in exile and stayed the majority of their lives in a foreign land. The obstacles they had to overcome make my complaints pale in comparison. Also, these men were not satisfied with survival, but strived for leadership.

 

Nor did they let power corrupt or become their life priority. The so-called important things did not get in the way of having a relationship with God. Their testimony was effective because it was not just about empty words or rituals. These men excelled in whatever task they were given. They were also men of integrity and character. Above all, they were not afraid to speak up and put their lives on the line for their faith. The God they worshipped is alive, powerful, and could change lives.

 

I am now in the process of praying for praying and looking for a mentor/s who can be my role models in the real world. Easier said than done… but it’s just a matter of time.

 

An aside:
I really admire those who are in fulltime ministry or are church workers. But I find the current paradigm too limiting. Christian service is not just being a pastor or a missionary, nor are they “more” blessed than those who are in secular professions.

 

Then again, I never really bought into the idea that there is such a thing as secular and non-secular work. First, because all Christians are holy (set apart), and are part of a “royal priesthood.” Then we are called to worship and glorify God in everything we do…and that means everything. Not just during Sunday services, but during the work week. Not just while attending Bible studies, but even while washing dishes. And lastly, because all the members of the body Christ is vital. They may not be the same, since each person is designed to have a unique set of gifts and abilities, but each is equally important. And each is called to different situations and work that suit that gifting.

 

Another side comment:
A friend has offered to create a real professional website for me…not just to rant on, but also to flex my writing muscles…and hopefully, earn some money too. A lot of current bloggers have an advice that I have a very difficult time swallowing: Specialize. Have a theme for your blog. Be specific. Gah. I can’t even focus my attention it in real life, how do I do it online?

 

Options: teaching, books, food, Christianity, music, finances, theater, etc….and the list goes on as f(x) approaches infinity, asymptotic to math. Useless to ask which one I like best, I’ll go into shock at being forced to make a choice. What would you like me write about? What do I tend to write about? Suggestions, anyone?

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WHAT FILLS MY JAR?
Posted at 03:10 AM

As a blog hopper, I gravitate towards blogs with practical advice on life. One of this is the simple dollar, which focuses on financial management. Happily, the entries often tackle other topics that interest me a lot, and time management was one of them (no, not love life).

 

In a recent entry http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/08/13/entrepreneurship-in-your-spare-time-the-rocks-and-sand-philosophy/  the writer compared his available time to a big glass jar.

 

It is filled with big rocks, which symbolize the major, uninterrupted blocks of time in his schedule. These are usually activities which must happen, or are necessary to maintain life. In my case, my rocks are my sleeping time, working hours, grad school classes, library research, choir rehearsals, and IVCF activities.

 

Little grains of sand then fills the remaining spaces in the glass jar. The sand represents the activities which are more flexible and brief in duration. For me, the in betweens are meeting with a friend over coffee, reading a good book or blog, napping under my desk during break time, eating out with my officemates, the rare hour spent watching an HBO movie, or writing a journal entry.

 

Time management then means choosing what is important enough to warrant being a “rock” in my jar. I only have so much space, or time, to fill so I need to prioritize. Also, it means breaking up existing rocks into manageable “pebbles” of time. This makes major tasks easier and prevents procrastination (I wish.)

 

Should these rocks, pebbles and sand be there at all? In the past week, several people have chided or given me an outright rebuke about my crazy mid-semester schedule. They recognized that I am again on the verge of burning myself out, and indeed I’m beginning to see the warning signs I went through before.

 

Why? Because my jar is overflowing. How did my jar end up looking like a construction pail? What happened?

 

First, because I could not say no. Everything seemed important and all of the things I agreed to do are worthy and meaningful activities. However, I just can’t fit all those rocks into a jar that’s already filled with other things.

 

Also, it felt good to know that people were depending on me for important things, and that they trusted me to handle responsibilities. But, just because I am needed does not mean I’m supposed to do it. Other people can do those tasks too, and even better than I can. Pride cometh before the fall indeed.

 

Finally, I have to overcome my ADHD. Well, I’m not actually diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But I do have a short attention span and I am very easily distracted. And I just can’t stay still, or not be busy. I have to be doing something or be involved in whatever is going on, or I would go nuts. Being busy is not always equal to good time management.

 

What I need to do now is upend my jar and give it a good cleaning. Then sort out the mess and deliberately choose which rocks I keep and which to throw out the window.

 

This is going to hurt.

 

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HOW I SURVIVED THE GY SHIFT
Posted at 06:08 AM

It dawned on me that despite all my protests and the negative reaction I got, I’ve been working the graveyard shift for 8 months and counting. How was I able to thrive in a shift that is designed for owls, bats and other creatures of the dark?

 

1. Choose your attitude
   

It is so easy to just go into petiks mode and be bored… by any job. More so when you day revolve around 80 dials, a computer screen and a phone. Everyday I must decide to be positive and find enjoyment in what I do. See item numbers 2, 3 and 4 for examples of what makes my work day worth it.

 

1. Never stop learning
   

I work for a training company, so learning comes with the job description. There are always better ways to do a task. Interacting with people from different cultures is also quite a learning experience. It is also a blessing that my schedule gives me time to study about a lot of other things.

 

1. Make friends
   

My officemates are my source of income (as customers to my various buy and sell schemes), career advice, photography shoots and much-needed laughter. More to come!

 

1. Eat right
   

I used to have difficulty with this, since my idea of a good meal is … too much. But I am restricting myself now. I just eat when the food is free. Haha! Or, I bring food for myself then invite my team mates to share. Presto, instant diet. It helps that for the past 2 months my mom has been cooking my baon several times a week, and I discovered a tiny turo-turo behind my new place.

 

1. Power nap
   

In connection to #4, instead of eating during our “lunch break” at 1am, I take a nap. With a squashed cardboard box, various malongs, shawls and throw pillows, I am off to dreamland underneath a workstation.

 

1. Pray.
   

Helps with all of the above…especially with #1. if I depend on my own strength to stay positive, I am sure to fail.

 

“I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

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AT THE END OF AUGUST
Posted at 01:25 AM

It’s been 8 months since I entered this company. Whee! Who knew I would last this long?
And I am still a jack of all trades, master of none. My ability to multitask and be uber flexible is accompanied by a very short attention span and staying power. I crave new things and experiences. I can do a lot of things and do them well, when I feel like it. When the mood wanes… uh oh.  Right now I’m in a very familiar situation. Scheduled to the gills, on the verge of burning out and hopping all over the place. Am I spreading myself too thinly? DUH. Of course I am. I have to focus; on what?
Then I get another a wake up call in my readings:
“Emphasize strengths, don’t fix weaknesses. Most people are good at a handful of things and utterly miserable at most. […] It is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths instead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor. The choice is between multiplication of results using strengths or incremental improvement fixing weaknesses that will, at best, become mediocre. Focus on better use of your best weapons instead of constant repair.” – Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Workweek
The author makes use of the Pareto Principle, which states that, for many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.” One good example: in my sales job, 80% of my sales come from 20% of my customers. I may be able to do a lot of things, but I would be most effective and productive when I focus on the top 20% of abilities.
A survey I have encountered many times referred to these as “gifts.” The results certainly surprised me; I’ll write about them in detail.
For now, I have a scheduled a much-needed “retreat” at the start of September. I need this time to calm down, get my bearings, and determine my values. Hope all goes as planned.   

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