best
Posted at 04:31 PM

"Let God make your choice for you... The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best... Many of us do not continue to grow spiritually because we prefer to choose on the basis of our rights... We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eyes focused on God." --Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest)

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CRUNCH
Posted at 10:48 AM

"A renewed mind will give us an understanding not only of God's will, but also of His method and of His purpose--we will know, not only what God wants us to do, but also how He wants us to do it, and why." --Zac Poonen (Finding God's Will)

One of my mentors gently rebuked me last night: Do not let other people's opinions be your primary guide in decisions. God has already put His will for you in your heart. When you obey His will, you won't need to explain to people. Do not let the enemy have a stronghold through your indecision.

At sa QT: Be strong and be very courageous... I will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1)

I'm going. And He will be with me always.

DWELL IN YOUR HOUSE 

by Hillsongs Australia

You set me apart
Gave me a new heart
Filled with compassion
To share Your great love

Show me Your ways
I want to know You
Guide me in truth
My hope is in You

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

I'll hold on to You,
My strength and my refuge.
Whom shall I fear?
I know You are near

All of my days
I live for You, Lord
Establish my path
There's one thing I ask
That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

Holy Spirit, have Your way
Sweet anointing teach our hearts
Our lives, we pray

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

That I may dwell in Your house forever
Lifting up Your name
Dwell in Your house forever more

 

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bakit kaya?
Posted at 11:53 PM

bakit ganun nalang reaction ng mga tao when I blurted out loud that I'm thinking of going into the call center industry?

Comments, anyone?

2 tripped the light fantastic

CAREER AND CALLING
Posted at 12:40 AM

by Steven G. W. Moore

Career and calling--two words that appear to be different ways of saying the same thing. Though they are sometimes used interchangeably, they are actually very different.

By career, we usually mean a job someone does as a means to make a living. It often requires some preparation through training or education and, hopefully, carries with it some sort of compensation or salary.

But if career is about making a living, then calling is about making a life.

Most of the time, when we talk of one’s “calling” we think of someone using the unique set of gifts, personality traits, and abilities that God has given him or her to meet some particular need in the world.

“So why can’t career and calling be the same thing?” you might ask. “They’re supposed to be,” would be my short answer. The better answer takes longer.

Regretfully, the main emphasis in many of today’s colleges and universities is on career. For one thing, it’s easier to manage. In fact, most colleges and universities will have a “career center” where you can learn about job openings, how to create a résumé, how to interview, and so on. And while those are helpful (and even important) things to know, there’s a much bigger question hanging out there that seldom gets discussed: How do you discover your calling?

Unfortunately for most of us, there is nothing neat or tidy about discovering our calling. It requires both a hunger and desire to know ourselves and God, and a willingness to serve. The writer Os Guinness puts it this way: “A sense of calling should precede a choice of job and career, and the main way to discover calling is along the line of what we are each created and gifted to be. . . .” (The Call, p. 46)

In other words, instead of “You are what you do,” a calling says “Do what you are!”

So, do you know what you are yet?

Most of us who have been around a church, a youth camp, a retreat, or some similar activity, have heard people talk about “hearing a call,” or may have heard someone say, “God told me to _______.” (You fill in the blank.) As confident and assured as that may sound, the reality for most of us is that discovering our calling is as much about learning to listen to our heart as it is trying to hear voices.

While I firmly believe that God speaks to us today, I have found that for most people, it is a still, small voice--not a booming bass accompanied by thunder and flashing lights! It is as much an art as a science--a way of seeing the world through the eyes of the heart. It requires a willingness on our part to risk--to dare to put ourselves in experiences where we are not in full control. It means putting aside the expectation of the “three easy steps” or “follow this formula.” It often leads us to a place of vulnerability and wonder and imagination--all places where those of us who live in our quick-fix, instant-gratification country don’t always like to go!

But it’s worth it. It is so worth it!

In fact, once you’ve had a taste of life lived with “calling,” you can’t go back. It’s like Frodo and Samwise on their adventure in The Lord of the Rings. The shire will never be the same. It’s like Neo in The Matrix. Once you’ve taken the pill, you see the world in a different way. Once you awaken the desire to be and do what God is calling you to be and do, the thought of a “career” seems pretty boring. A career can never be enough.

The story is told about a ship seeking safe harbor on a stormy night. When the navigator radioed the harbor master on the shore, she gave them these simple instructions: “Line up the five buoy lights in the harbor until they appear as one. Keep these lights in order, and you will have a straight course into the harbor.”

I would suggest to you that discovering your calling is much the same. Let me suggest five principles that, when in line together, can help you set a course to your calling.

The One and Only You
First, and perhaps most obvious, is knowing and understanding our gifts and talents. College is a great time to sharpen and clarify our gifts and talents.

When I was young, I used to dream of playing in the NBA. But by the time I got to college, I was happy to be playing on a great intramural team! It became fairly clear to me the I wasn’t going to get “discovered” and that my talents didn’t lend themselves to being an NBA player. I could scratch “professional athlete” off my to-be list.

But in college, I also had an opportunity to work with the youth at a nearby church, and I discovered that I loved it. Close friends began to tell me I seemed to have a gift for getting people involved and encouraging people to consider Jesus as a friend instead of seeing God as the guy out to stop all the fun, and make life miserable! I took note of these friends’ insights into my gifts and talents. I also began to realize the importance of matching my gifts with my calling.

Have you ever asked someone who knows you what they think your talents and gifts might be? Kind of scary to do, maybe, but an important piece of the puzzle--a key clue to calling.

All That Jazz
A second principle in helping you discover your calling is to simply ask: What really jazzes me? What motivates me? What energizes me?

I watched Rick each semester as he dutifully got his architecture classes done. He could do it, and he got A’s and B’s; but he wasn’t very excited about it. When I finally asked him if he’d ever considered switching majors to something he might get excited about, he immediately remarked, “I would if I just knew what that was!” He was paralyzed by the unknown. Together, we strategized on some steps that might help him discover it. One of those steps was going on a Habitat for Humanity work trip to Central America. While on that trip, the light went on. Rick came back motivated to combine his analytical and creative building skills with providing affordable housing for the poor. The course of his calling began to unfold.

Not everyone has that inner drive that propels you along, but many do. Sometimes it needs to be encouraged, sometimes let loose, sometimes directed. Sometimes we gradually feel it welling up inside us as we begin to get closer to things that jazz us. At all times, we need to listen and ask ourselves: Does this energize me or drain me?

God wants to give us the desires of our heart. (Psalm 37:4) Discovering what motivates us gives us another clue to calling.

The Real Real World
One of the most popular reality TV shows is The Real World. Though we know what we see is often the result of heavy editing and some manipulation, it’s a hit in part because the cast seems like people we know who have experiences like we might have. Experiences matter--both good and bad. Our tendency is to want to get through the bad ones as quickly as possible and hang on to the good ones as long as we can. There is one more possibility--learn from all experiences. One of the great promises of the Bible is that God desires to take everything that happens to us and weave it into good in the tapestry of our lives.

My wife, Thanne, and some friends went water skiing a lot in college. On one trip, there was a terrible accident, and one of their friends sustained a severe head injury. During the course of the friend’s long recovery, Thanne watched as therapists helped the young man put his life back together. It inspired her to look into speech therapy, which eventually became her calling and career. Today, she has helped thousands of head trauma and stroke victims recover or develop the means to communicate again. I’ve watched in wonder and amazement as she tenderly yet determinedly works with people. An unexpected life experience became the bridge to an unexpected call.

A young woman came to seminary unsure about her calling but hungry to know God’s will. In 1997, she heard about a course that included a trip to India, so she signed up. While traveling and seeing the various missions and ministries at work on that amazing subcontinent, she couldn’t help but notice that everywhere they went, there were children living on the streets. Upon graduation, she decided to go to India and open a home for unwanted children. If you visit India today, you would find that she has become “mom” to more than 60 children who are growing and thriving under her loving care. You can see some of their pictures at cornerstoneinternational.org.

Experience is another piece of the puzzle--another light in the harbor guiding us in the way we should go. What are the experiences you’ve had or need to have that might help your future unfold?

Who’s That Knocking?
“It seemed like a huge open door.”

“The door just seemed to slam shut in my face.”

Open doors, closed doors. As you hear people talk about discovering their callings and discerning God’s will, you’ll usually hear a lot about the way in which opportunities and circumstances play an important part in discerning our calling.

The tough thing is, not every open door is a door we should walk through. Most of us will have more opportunities than we can use--which requires that we make choices. On the other hand, not every closed door means that we shouldn’t continue down the path we’re on. Sometimes opportunities are temporarily disguised as obstacles!

Nonetheless, it is a fair and reasonable assumption of faith that God will use circumstances to nudge us in the right direction. We must simply be careful not to let circumstances be the only factor guiding our understanding and discussions.

The Apostle Paul provides a great example for us of someone who sensed an open door and followed (2 Cor. 2:12-14), experienced a closed door and went another direction (Rom. 15:22-29) or used bad circumstances to accomplish good things. (Philippians 1:12-14) One of the things we see regularly in Paul’s life is that he was surrounded by people who become his partners and fellow travelers in seeking and following God’s calling. That leads us to the fifth principle to be used in concert with the four already mentioned: the principle of community.

We Are Family!
Let me make a rather bold statement: You will not discover God’s calling or God’s will by yourself. It will involve and include other people.

Have you seen the new TV series Joan of Arcadia? It is the story of a young woman who learns to listen to God in everyday life. God sometimes comes to her as a telephone lineman, an old woman in a bookstore, a little girl on a playground, or in some other unexpected form. God tells her, “I try and speak to people all the time, but that doesn’t mean anyone listens.”

Though the show isn’t meant to teach sound theology, the principle is still very true--God often speaks to us through other people. Only more often than not, it is not through strangers, it is through people who know us well--a teacher, a coach, a youth pastor, a family member, or a friend. We need people in our lives who will encourage us to dream big, challenge our thinking, evaluate our planning, and believe in our abilities.

Elizabeth Elliott encourages us to find people to be a part of our lives. She suggests that they should be people who, “love God and have experience in finding his will. They should be people who see things I don’t see. They should have been over roads I’ve never traveled. They should have experience in things we have not experienced.” (The Will of God as a Way of Life by Gerald Sittser, p. 90)

One friend who does that in my life is Don. He has been working hard to discover and follow God in a deeper way. As a retired businessman, he is realizing that the attitude we are called to cultivate in order to hear God’s leading “is an attitude not marked by self-reliance, self-sufficiency, or control, but rather by a willingness to be led to places not so comfortable and not so predictable.” He goes on to say, “it just may be the answer to the spirit-infused longing that so many desire and struggle to define. And as countercultural, counterintuitive, and uncomfortable as it may appear to be, it may be the key to the transformation of the church--and you and me!”

There you have them:
• Know your gifts and talents
• Understand what motivates and inspires you
• Be attentive to experiences both good and bad
• Consider open doors and closed doors
• Surround yourself with, and get input from, people who know you and who can help you understand the other four principles.

As we seek to line up these five “buoys” in the harbor, we would do well to remember one final word of the writer and teacher, Frederick Buechner, who said that the most important voice in recognizing our calling “is the voice that we might think we should listen to least, and that is the voice of our own gladness.” (The Will of God as a Way of Life, p. 92)

Steven G. W. Moore is scholar-in-residence at The Foundation for Evangelism.

FROM: http://www.gbhem.org/orientation/academics_article_pg1.asp?item_id=4

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Birthday greeting
Posted at 01:42 PM

I thank God that even though I'm the eldest in my biological family, He has blessed me with a kuya who nurtures and challenges me at the same time. 

kuya Albert, Happy birthday! You're so young!

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TAKAW-TULOG
Posted at 06:31 PM

For some reason, para akong laging kulang sa tulog ngayon...lutang, windang, sabog ang feeling ko. bad nga e, ilang beses na akong nalalate this month..at 1st week palang ito!

hay.

* * *

curiosity killed the cat, ika nga. bakit buhay pa ako ngayon?

most of the experiences i now consider as the most valuable part of my life (Him, UP, shifting, music/choir, theater/batingaw, campus ministry/esbi, etc) involved risk. i had to step out into the unknown, try something totally new, and not let the naysayers get in the way of having a life.

recently, i have been bogged down by the shoulds and musts and do nots. i felt (am feeling) pressured to do what is safe, to think long term, to stop seemingly frivolous pursuits and settle down to what people think someone like me should do. para akong si spiderman na laging giniguilt trip na "with great power comes great responsibility."

I have forgotten that logic, thinking and planning can only go so far...

faith means that my standards for success , ergo my choices, may seem nonsensical, a waste of time, irresponsible, even downright stupid.

but in the long run (think eternity), guess who wins?

as long as I am in His will, no regrets.

 

3 tripped the light fantastic

FOR SALE
Posted at 10:53 AM

Christmas is the season for gift-giving! Want some cheap but nice gift options? I sell the following:

1. Accessories

• fancy bracelets (P150-P200)
• casual watches, unisex (P200)
• formal watches (P230)
• bracelet watch (P230)
• ribbon watch (P250)

2. Perfume (Class A)

Below P300

• Burberry Weekend (F) – P280
• Polo Sport (M&F) – P280
• Miracle So Magic (F) – P280

Below P400

• Lacoste Pink (F) – P300
• Tommy (M&F) – P300
• Burberry Tender Touch (F) – P300
• Burberry London (M) – P320
• Mont Blanc (M) – P330
• Gucci (F) – P330
• Chance Chanel (F) – P370
• Burberry Brit (F) – P380
• Versace (F) – P380
• Bulgari (M) – P380

Below P500

• Elizabeth Arden Iced Green Tea (F) – P410

*Other brands available upon request

For orders, tag me here or send an email to mricmariano@yahoo.com.

 

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PARADIGM SHIFT2
Posted at 11:25 AM

Christians do many things well, but dating isn't one of them. In fact, many of the fallacies prevalent in the dating world were created by Christians. We have been so overly zealous about modesty and purity that our faith often morphs into legalism, shaming everyone with unattainable standards of perfection. Many young adults desire a relationship with the Almighty but not at the cost of feeling guilty every single day of their lives because they long for human companionship. Even God said, "It is not good for man to be alone" and then He created Eve to be man's partner (Genesis 2:18). The answer to the reckless and shameless dating often seen in America today isn't found at the dogmatic, ultraconservative end of the spectrum. It is found in the balanced life, somewhere between everything and nothing, culture and faith, the place where Christ resides.

Despite what many of us have been taught, there is nothing inherently wrong with dating. But like any freedom—driving, voting, drinking—it can lead to disaster if you do it recklessly. Even though the Bible doesn't specifically talk about dating, the Bible is a wonderful guide when it comes to interpersonal relationships. And if you think about it, dating is just one type of personal relationship. Dating gives us the opportunity to interact with a myriad of interesting people in a very unique way. Some people we will never see again, some will become friends, and some may become more. But in every instance, we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and about the diversity of humanity.

The purpose of dating is to find the "right one" with whom to spend the rest of your life. If you simply want to have fun, meet interesting people, or learn about yourself, don't do it within the context of dating. There is a time and place for these types of experiences, and it is called friendship. Just make friends with some people of the opposite sex if your goal is to learn and grow. Although dating sounds like an ideal way to simply shop around for Mr. Right, it is too easy to get emotionally and physically involved. And if you date with the goal of self-improvement or self-satisfaction, there is a very good chance that you're going to get hurt or you're going to hurt someone else. Dating should have a purpose—to learn who and how to love.

Here are a few guidelines to help you on the adventure:

The 5 Commandments of Dating
1. Thou shalt not group date.
Pierce my nipples. Juggle porcupines. Rip the hair off my body with duct tape. Train my cats to swim. Visit Neverland Ranch at night. Test new parachutes. Debate Paris Hilton. Wear a Speedo to church. These are all things I'd rather do than go on a group date.

When you hang out in a group, it isn't dating—it's socializing. Or mingling. Or entertaining. Whatever it is, it is not helpful. Nothing of any substance ever gets discussed in a group of co-ed friends when the intention of the get-together is to date. Emotional intimacy cannot be cultivated between two people if they are surrounded by ten of their best friends. While I'll agree that a group setting can be an excellent way to meet someone new, it is a terrible way to get to know someone's heart.

The church devised the group dating concept because it recognized the futility and dangers of how most people date in American culture. With pregnancies, diseases, and divorces on the rise, they wanted to protect their flock from having similar heart-wrenching results. I can appreciate their intentions, but going from one extreme to another has not alleviated our problems. It has just given most singles a whole new set of issues to deal with—loneliness, despair, and confusion ranking at the top of the list.

Besides, fairy tales never begin with "A group of knights gathered together to fight for a handful of maidens, only later to decide who rescues who." Romantic stories are never written that way because that doesn't speak to our hearts. It is only when one knight takes a calculated risk and battles for the hand of a beautiful princess that we see true commitment and intimacy. And we long for this in our own lives.

One of the biggest problems with group dating is that it allows men to be passive. In a group setting, men can shun accountability and responsibility. They don't have to make any plans because someone else will. They don't have to be responsible for anything because it is easy to disperse ownership with others involved. And they don't have to ask any one girl out because they can enjoy all of them at the same time! Men don't have to be proactive leaders—they can simply be pack hunters.

Unfortunately, marriage is not a group outing. When a couple finally decides to tie the knot, many men are unprepared to handle the decisions and responsibilities that come with leading a family. Cassandra and Mike, a very quiet but thoughtful couple in their mid-thirties, recently approached me at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago and thanked me for a couple of articles I had written. They told me that they had been married for eight years and that the first four years were the roughest of their lives. Mike said that he dated Cassandra in a group environment like their church suggested, but once they got hitched, he struggled with leading his new family. And they weren't alone. He named at least five other couples in their church where the men were shutting down, frustrated with their spiritual and emotional responsibilities.

One-on-one dating is the training ground that men desperately need to learn how to lead. Men are naturally more reserved when it comes to emotional and spiritual development, and their growth is slowed even more when they can mask it in a group setting. On an individual date, however, open discussions can go to deeper levels and men have to think through what they really believe. Men learn perseverance by being rejected, strength by battling for a woman's heart, and initiative by asking a beauty on a date.

There is another downside to group dating that often gets overlooked. Herd mentality. When young adults get together in groups to try to develop romance, everybody is in everybody else's business. Instead of dispersing the pressure to act one way or another, the pressure mounts. When two people in the group finally do connect, they often break away from their friends to escape the gossip and preconceived notions. We've learned the hard way that the only thing more dangerous than a misguided individual is a misguided group. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Single Christian groups also develop an "it's-about-us" attitude. They are not very welcoming to new people or ideas. It is as if the people in the group believe they have earned the right to be the first person to get married because they have waited around the longest. If a new person does happen to join the ranks, he is usually enthusiastically accepted by the opposite sex—like a T-bone is enthusiastically accepted by a pack of famished wolves—and snubbed by the same sex. Because he is just one more single mouth to feed at a table that many believe is already short of good food, he is usually not a very welcome visitor.

Are one-on-one dates more intimate? Yes. But isn't that the point? Aren't we trying to get to know someone's heart to see if we can develop a romance? Group dating doesn't allow this. You certainly have to be more mature to handle an individual date and the things that may develop from it. But that is what makes it so exciting. Men enjoy the challenge of battling for a heart they think is worth fighting for, and women exude confidence when they realize their heart is a treasure.

2. Thou shalt commit to the fight.
The normal model of male-female relationships is quite simple—you are either dating or you are not dating. But the current Christian model is quite different. Perhaps we got held underwater a little too long during baptism, but our model looks like this: become friends, hang out, get to know one another, see where it goes, talk about possibly getting involved, discuss the north wind and how it may affect the relationship, talk to the youth pastor about it, pray about it, fast over it, court (which may mean dating), date (which may mean courting), and finally, date. Instead of having or not having a romance, we add a million meaningless micro-steps which muddy the already difficult waters.

So, to set the record straight, you are either dating or you are not dating. Commit to one side or the other. There is nothing in between. There is nothing overly spiritual or holy about camping somewhere between friendship and intimacy. In fact, when you attempt to know someone's heart without committing anything to them, you are doing them a terrible disservice. I have seen droves of well-meaning Christian men break young women's hearts because they stole intimate moments from a girl while committing nothing to the relationship. It's called emotional promiscuity. I've done it myself more than once.

For those struggling to define dating—which are most church-attending adults—dating is getting to know somebody else exclusively. It is purposeful intimacy with personal commitment. Many pastors substitute the word courting for dating, but I think this is a misnomer and very dangerous. According to Webster, courting is "wooing, working, and trying to gain the affection of another through attention or flattery." But you shouldn't have to persuade or entice someone to spend time with you. Courting has the connotation that the relationship is definitely leading to marriage, putting undo stress on the couple. Women often think that if they are being courted, they are guaranteed a proposal. But that is not necessarily the case. While you can hope the relationship leads to marriage, courtship is no guarantee that the man will get down on his knee.

Conversely, dating is about committing yourself to a devel- oping, exclusive relationship to determine if your partner can be your soul mate. Dating doesn't hold any preconceived notions about what can or should be expected in a relationship. As Christians, we don't need a different word to explain our romances. All people, regardless of their belief system, long to love and be loved, and we can share in this pursuit when we share in their struggles. We don't need to reword dating—we just need to do it better than everyone else.

The tricky part is figuring out when dating actually starts. Is it the first kiss? Is it the define-the-relationship talk? Is it after x-number of dates? After talking to hundreds of couples, I've learned something humorous (and sad) about many Christian relationships: Many women are dating men who don't know they are dating.

Dating often begins for a woman when the man builds an emotional bond with her. This can be accomplished through intimate conversation or quality time together. On the other hand, men often equate dating to the physical aspect of the relationship. Whether it is a kiss or something more, men often don't think they are "in" a relationship until they have displayed some level of physical affection.

To reconcile these bipolar views, there is only one solution— communicate. Some of your dating relationships will begin at the first kiss and others will begin after you have talked about it. Neither side is completely right, but neither side is completely wrong either. If intimacy is taking place on a regular basis, then dating has begun, whether or not you have officially defined it. A few telltale signs that you are dat- ing but you don't know you're dating include regular latenight phone calls, flirtatious e-mails, recurring daydreams of the other person, continuous Starbucks dates, and extra prepping before seeing one another.

I got to observe this confusion firsthand while speaking at a university recently. To prove a point about effective communication, I asked for three volunteer couples from the crowd. I saw a girl's hand waving in the front and asked her and her boyfriend to come forward. As they were walking toward the stage, I saw a look of confusion on his face. When I asked him how long they had been dating, he said, "Uh, I didn't know we were dating." Shocked, the girl quickly blurted out, "We've been dating for three months!"

If you are not sure whether or not you are dating, discuss it. If she or he hesitates or tries to stay in that awkward middle ground, jump from the moving train immediately. You are headed for disaster. You can't bounce in and out of "the friend zone" like Tigger on crack. You are either dating or you are not—make a choice.

3. Thou shalt expect nothing.
The number-one reason men don't want to commit to a relationship is because the only thing higher than a woman's heels on a first date is her expectations. If you think that the next guy has to be "the one," don't be surprised if he doesn't call you again. If you start talking about your dream wedding, his short trip to the restroom may detour out the back door. While many guys seem confident on the outside, most of us are still trembling little boys on the inside trying to understand this thing called love.

Expectations are cancer to a new relationship. Author Erich Fromm said it eloquently in his best-selling book The Art of Loving when he stated, "In love, if one expects nothing and asks nothing, he can never be deceived or disappointed. It is only when love demands that it brings pain." We are all guilty of bringing unreasonable expectations into a relationship, even more so as followers of Christ. Because Christ was perfect, many of us expect our Christian partners to be perfect as well. But assumptions and expectations are roadblocks to finding out about the heart of the person sitting across the candlelit table.

My last relationship was with a single mother who has a ten-year-old son. If I had held some preconceived notions about dating a divorced woman, I would have missed out on eight wonderful months of dating and romance. I've always wanted a family, and while dating this beautiful girl, I watched her be a loving mother on a daily basis. I want that. I need that. I would have missed that had I held expectations that God had someone different for me. I don't completely know the type of person I'll marry, and if you are honest with yourself, you don't know either.

Always give yourself margin in a relationship, especially at the beginning. When I refer to margin, I'm talking about creating extra space between your hopes and reality, much like the space between the words and the edge of a book. Don't lower your standards—just give everybody the benefit of the doubt and give God room to work. When we get around the opposite sex, very rarely do we say and do exactly what we mean. The butterflies in our stomach often make us alter our predetermined plan.

Couples often talk about "love at first sight." Of course, the couples that talk about this are the ones who actually fulfill the prophecy. You never hear a person talk about "love at first sight" when the relationship doesn't work. I happen to believe that at first sight, you can only fall in love with the idea of that type of person, not the actual person himself. It takes seasons of life, intimate moments, difficult obstacles, and unwavering faith to really fall in love with someone.

When you first start seeing someone, give yourself three to four dates to decide whether or not you want to date him exclusively. Even if you think you know after the first date, give him time to realize how wonderful you are as well. Desperation is an ugly suit, and you certainly don't want to wear it on your first date, Cinderella. Unless there is excessive physical contact (not incidental—if he brushes your leg as he gets up to use the restroom that doesn't count) or verbal commitment on the first couple of dates, both individuals should have three to four dates to decide if they want to commit to an exclusive relationship.

Ideally, the man should address the issue of dating, but if he hasn't initiated the conversation after the allotted four dates, feel free to bring it up, ladies. Ask an open-ended question along the lines of, "What kind of relationship do you see us developing?" or "Where do you see our friendship going?" Regardless of who brings it up, if the other person wavers and doesn't commit to getting to know you and only you, move on. You deserve better.

4. Thou shalt be patient.
Too many young Christian couples bolt out of the starting gate like they are being chased by a rabid dog. They are so excited about their new relationship that they often confuse marriage as the end of the race, when in reality, it is merely the beginning. Their passion is redlining, but their patience is still in neutral. They are sprinting toward love, but they are not carrying the anchor that will help them see all the obstacles along the way.

It is ironic that the churched, those who claim to understand the fullness of Christ's love, are often even more in a hurry than the unchurched to get hitched. How many times do you hear of young couples meeting, dating, and marrying all within a six- to twelve-month span? Since the divorce rate is as high among Christians as it is among non-Christians, this tells us one of two things: (1) We preach the concept of patience, but we don't actually practice it; or, (2) we don't really understand the depth of true love. Why are we in such a hurry to meet, greet, eat, and feel each other's body heat?

After a church service in Texas, a handsome young stud approached me and said, "You saved me ten thousand dollars." Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about, but I joked that I'd be happy to split it with him fifty-fifty. Confident and debonair, he said that he had heard me speak two years earlier about love and patience while he was still in college. At the time, he had just bought a diamond ring for his girlfriend of seven months. After the talk, he prayed about proposing to her and decided to wait a couple of months before popping the question. And he was thankful that he did. Apparently, when she didn't get the ring as early as expected, she threw a fit and her true colors began to show. Within a month, they weren't even dating anymore. (On a side note, I've still yet to see a penny in the whole deal.)

Above all things, unconditional love is patient. When you experience a fresh and exciting new romance, you take a big swig of dumb-dumb juice. In all other instances, you would think rationally and logically, but when Cupid's arrow hits you in the backside, you begin to have outlandish visions of grandeur and romance. Everything is wonderful because "he likes me." A hoodlum could break into your house, steal your favorite stilettos, eat the last piece of chocolate cake, kick your dog, and leave the toilet seat up, and it wouldn't bother you. Normally, you would have this guy tethered to a moving truck and dragged across hot asphalt for even eying your chocolate cake. The prospect of love makes you dumb-dumb.

To combat dumb-dumb syndrome, the best medicine is patience. In Paul's letter to the Corinthians, he was adamant about saying "love is patient" first (1 Corinthians 13:4). He wanted the young Corinthian believers to understand that God's perfect plan is mysterious, and the best way to decipher an enigmatic plan is to give it time. While you may feel that your partner possesses all aspects of the fruit of the Spirit, your feelings can be deceiv- ing. The best way to check somebody's true intentions is to see if their actions match their words.

No matter how much you love someone, there is no substitute for life's experiences. Walking through different seasons of life with your partner is an invaluable indicator of how he will handle the unpredictable moments of marriage. Remember, a tree is recognized by its fruit, and the only way to see if the tree will produce fruit is to observe it over many seasons. Nearly every relationship I've experienced has hit an inflection point at both the six- and twelve-month marks. While there is no specific research suggesting why these time frames might be significant, they may be indicators of how your loved one is changing, growing, and developing. Take the time to get to know him thoroughly. If you are planning on being married for the next seventy-five years of your life, a couple more months of dating certainly won't hurt you.

To use my last relationship with the single mother as an example again, how we communicated with one another began to change at about the six-month mark. Up to that point, we both filtered our thoughts and used an extra level of caution when approaching a sensitive subject. We didn't do it to avoid speaking the truth or broaching controversial issues. We did it because we cared for one another and didn't want to hurt each other's feelings. As I mentioned earlier, young relationships are fragile and need to be handled with the utmost care. However, when we finally began honestly talking about sensitive issues, we realized that we had very different expectations on what our future family could look like. She desired a husband who could work a nine-to-five job and spend nights and weekends with the family. I, too, desire a family, but understand that my career will sometimes take me away from home for significant periods of time. After talking about it for a couple of months, we realized that even though we both loved the Lord, we were heading down two very different paths. Had we rushed into a marriage because things "felt" right or because all the boxes were checked on a Must- Have list, we would now be facing some serious marital problems. Exercising a little patience—and communicating openly and honestly with each other—saved us from much emotional pain.

If we are really honest with ourselves, the reason that most of us are impatient is because we don't want the person we are dating to get away. We are simply afraid of being alone. But is that love or is that self-interest posing as love? When I get discouraged about my love life, I remember one thing—there are over six billion people in the world and I need only one. God is more than capable of finding me the perfect mate among that many choices.

5. Thou shalt always follow the King.
When we are confused in our relationships, we often get this counsel from our family and friends—"just follow your heart." While our loved ones mean well, this advice is a little misguided. Our hearts—our feelings, thoughts, and emotions— are usually the very things that got us in trouble in the first place. Our hearts have very limited foresight and are easily shaken by circumstances. As the prophet Jeremiah wisely noted, "Our hearts are deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand [them]?" (Jeremiah 17:9). Instead of simply submitting to our feelings and emotions, it is more important to follow the passion and direction that the Lord instills in us. Why follow your heart when you can follow the Creator of your heart? If your dream is to one day find a prince, doesn't it make more sense to follow a King and learn what princes are made of?

I recently overheard an interesting conversation at a local bar while visiting one of my bartender friends. As in most pubs, groups of men often come in looking for groups of women. This night was no different. As I was catching up with my buddy, a couple of beautiful ladies sat at the table behind me. It wasn't long before a couple of gentlemen—I use the term loosely—approached their table and started a conversation. Within five minutes, one of the girls and one of guys got up to go shoot pool. But the other couple sat at the table and talked. Now, I've been around some pretty eager guys, but this guy wins the prize for hustling a girl for her phone number. Calm and collected, she denied him this small request for over half an hour. Finally, he got frustrated and asked, "What does it take to win your heart?!"

Without skipping a beat, she said, "Don't come to me asking for my heart. I gave my heart to the Lord a long time ago."

Profound. Powerful. True. Not the kind of comment you usually hear between cheers and beers. But she was absolutely right. Had the guy had an ounce of sense, he would have real- ized that she wasn't denying him; she was simply reminding him where he needed to refocus his efforts. On the Lord.

Many of us need that simple reminder because we all have a choice to make. We can either take love into our own hands and try to decipher between the millions of potential mates, or we can hand our hearts over to the Lord and trust that He who is Love will act in our best interest. Stated another way, we can either do it ourselves or we can ask the Creator of Relationships for a little help. I've tried it on my own and have been humbled on more than one occasion. As for me and my heart, we will follow the King.

From the book Undressed: The Naked Truth About Love, Sex and Dating by Jason Illian. Copyright © 2006 by Jason Illian. Reprinted by permission of Faith Words, Inc, New York, NY. All rights reserved.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind61011.html

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MONEY MATTERS
Posted at 01:36 PM

Just read Bo Sanchez' book, "Simplify your life" super natamaan ako. i really, really need to budget. suggestion ng msn (http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/LearnToBudget/ASimplerWayToSaveThe60Solution.aspx): 

Spend less than I earn daw! like this:

10% for TITHE (church,etc... give back what I received)

60% for COMMITTED EXPENSES

• Basic food and clothing needs.

 

• Essential household expenses (including relative support).

 

• Insurance premiums.

 

• All of our bills -- even such non-essentials cable TV service or music lessons.

 

• ALL of my taxes. 

 

 

30% FOR MYSELF:

• Long-term savings/retirement 10%
• Short-term savings for irregular/emergency expenses 10%
• Fun money (para di ako deprived) 10%

 discipline. Lord, penge po.

 

 

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six (?!) years ago
Posted at 11:45 AM

:

1.Anong section mo nung 4th yr HS? ~ Gr X Charity 2. Adviser? ~ Mrs. Delgado / Mrs. Madarang 3. Anong club mo? ~ Isabelan, Theater Guild, YCC... 4. Pinaka mahirap mong subject? ~ the dreaded four-letter word.... 5. Pinakagusto na teacher? ~ si ginang barte.. "itahimik ang mga kaluluwa.. " --- yep, i agree with u Melany.. ahahhaha.. oh and ms. Baua pala - oo nga fernie. atsaka si Mrs. Arquisola (nee Cinco) the best! 6. Anong student # mo? ~ meron ba tao nito? 7. Class number mo? ~ uhhh line of 20's palagi yun e...malaamng magkasunod kami ni diana grace haha! 8. Pinakahuling ginawa mong katarantaduhan: ~ there is somethign so refreshing about napping in class, or reading a pocketbook hidden between your textbook 9. Eh magbisyo sa CR? ~ di pa ako marunong magsuklay nun e 10. Naghihilamos ka ba sa CR? ~ ligo oo 11. Anong paborito mong tambayn? ~ LIBRARY, yung corridor sa harap ng physics lab sa tabi ng spiral staircase na teritoryo ni Mrs. Viola at mga nagpaparamdam, SBO Office, quadrangle 12. Maganda ba grad song nyo? ~ dapat lang!! 13. May nakaaway ka na rin ba? ~ heheheehee 14. Sino? ~ si Larae? haha! 15. Nag-vandal ka na ba? Anong ginawa mo? ~ goody two shoes ata ako nun e 17. Sa canteen ka ba nag-lulunch or sa classroom? ~ refer to #11, second location 18. Kung naaalala mo talaga ang HS days mo, ano ang kulay ng uniform ng teachers mo kapag Friday? ~ wash day nila! 19. How was the prom? ~ nu yun? 20. Sino last dance mo nung prom? ~ wala nga prom, kulet mo 21. What do you do after school? ~ usually may practice or extra curricular meetings, pero kung ala, minsan uwe agad or food trip with joanna - same same, kafoodtrip ko naman nun sina Ivy, larae, garet, shalo, etc 22. Ever cried in front of the class? ~ nagatatago ako sa CR 23. Did you bring your cellphone to school? ~ oo, pero sinusurrender sa SBO 24. Did you log on to Friendster when in the computer lab? ~ di pa uso friendster nun 25. May mga experiment papers ba kayo nun? ~ lage especially senior year 26. Sino palaging nagdadala ng food sa inyo? ~ si Ivy at Jennifer Malubay 27. Anu-ano naman ang dinadala nila? ~ lutong bahay, YUM! 29. Kanino ka humihiram ng notes? ~ ako ang hinihiraman e 30. Eh calcu? ~ if i forget mine, kung sino mahiraman sa kabilang classroom 31. Sino ultimate crush mo noon? ~ IM SO PATHETIC...wala.

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GUSTO KO NA UMUWI
Posted at 05:40 PM

HAAAY. i hate hate hate unannounced, unpaid overtime... especially when it's not supposed to be my responsibility in the first place. and when i have other committments that fall by the wayside.

my life shall NOT revolve around my work. i will NOT be like them. i will have a life!!!!

rats.

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EXCITED
Posted at 10:25 AM

Dami daming mangyayari ngayong December... happy!

 

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PRAY FOR ME..
Posted at 02:13 PM

LAST DAY ko na tomorrow dito sa work...

WHEE!!!!

ang medyo kakabadtrip lang ngayon...hay.iniisip nila dito na im quitting because im a failure or mahina ang loob...na di ko kinaya ang pressure. di no, its because i want to focus. mahirap naman na gagawin ko yung wala heart ko dun di ba?

pagdating sa work, iba iba sinasabi ng mga tao...i realized na may element of pagiging user friendly yung iba, esp kapag professional ang relationship niyo....they give you advice that would benefit them. kakadiscourage/disillusion lang.or they have expectations of someone from this school with this background. usually along the line of: you should be filthy rich. or you should save the country from centuries of poverty and oppression. then again that last part medyo dream ko rin, micro scale nga lang gusto ko.grassroots change ika nga.

Please pray for me, got several interviews lined up for this week... TONIGHT, on Friday morning and afternoon, on Monday morning and sometime next week.in various call centers and tutorial centers ... no more office work! mukhang di ko talaga masyadong maapply ang college course ko...then again, i just chose it to get out of my previous course, hehe. dami ko inaplyan. segurista ba? i need discernment and guidance...badly.

also, i'll be applying for the MA in Educ in Diliman. Go na ito!

and i'll be studying again...two week course for TESOL certification on nov20-dec2, at Cosmo. The tuition fee is P8,000, and the instructor is from the Asian Center for English Studies/China Missions, a grad of UP. God already provided me with the money and time, it's now up to me to have a teachable mind and a willing heart.  if you're interested to join the course, you can call our church 5231309 to inquire.

lastly... my dream of bringing back the p&w component in our vesper service is beginning to come true...sana tuloy tuloy na ito. =)

ang sabog ng blog entry na ito. haha!

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FINDING HAPPINESS AT WORK
Posted at 04:11 PM

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=484&SiteId=cbmsn4484&sc_extcmp=JS_484_advice

 

What do we want out of life and work? What makes us happy and drives us to do our best? For centuries philosophers and social scientists have pondered these questions. Finally one of them seems to have hit upon the answer.

Dr. Steven Reiss, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at Ohio State University and author of Who am I? The 16 Basic Desires that Motivate our Actions and Define our Personalities, has found that happiness and life-satisfaction stem not from experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain, but from a sense that our lives have meaning and fulfill a larger purpose. He calls this "value-based happiness" and says we experience it when we satisfy our intrinsic desires.

After conducting studies involving more than 6,000 people from all walks of life, Reiss has identified 16 universal desires that drive all meaningful behavior. Based on this research, he has developed a test called the Reiss Profiles, which measure the degree to which an individual values each of these desires and reveals his or her enduring life goals, psychological needs and personality traits.

Though the actual Reiss Profiles contains more than 100 questions, Reiss agreed to let us use this simplified version to help you identify what you want out of life and work:

Read the following statements about each basic desire. If they strongly describe you mark "+" if they somewhat describe you mark "0," and if they apply to you very little mark "-":

1. Curiosity. I have a thirst for knowledge. +

2. Acceptance. I have a hard time coping with criticism. +

3. Order. It upsets me when things are out of place. -


4. Physical Activity. Physical fitness is very important to me. - (obviously not)

5. Honor. I am a highly principled and loyal person. +

6. Power. I often seek leadership roles. - (im often assigned/volunteered for this)

7. Independence. Self-reliance is essential to my happiness. +

8. Social Contact. I am known as a fun-loving person. +

9. Family. My children come first. +

10. Status. I am impressed by people who own expensive things. -

11. Idealism. Compared with most people, I am very concerned with social causes. -

12. Vengeance. It is very important to me to get even with those who insult or offend me. -

13. Romance. Compared with my peers, I spend much more time pursuing or having sex. -

14. Eating. I love to eat and often fantasize about food. +++

15. Saving. I hate throwing things away. +

16. Tranquility. It scares me when my heart beats rapidly. -


Now, look at your "plus" items. These are your priorities, and you should have five or six of them.

"Once you know your deepest values, one of the best ways to become happier is to find work that fulfills them," says Reiss. "For example, if you shun power or don't like to lead, you would be unhappy managing a large staff.

"If you have a high desire for acceptance, don't choose a job that exposes you to a lot of evaluation and criticism. If you prize order, look for a vocation that involves minimal ambiguity. If you're a curious person, find work that makes you think."

Reiss cites how a desire for status and competition drives many stockbrokers. He suggests that when evaluating a job, you understand the kinds of tasks you will be doing throughout the day, week and year. Compare those to your top desires to make sure what you will be doing each day will be a source of happiness.

But he cautions it's not just the work itself; ideally your value system should match that of the industry, the company and your boss, too. For example, Julie, who identified her highest desires as honor, social contact, eating, idealism and curiosity, loved her job as a sales associate for a major food manufacturer until she got a boss who routinely cut corners and urged her to lie to clients and superiors.

"To do well in a career and enjoy life, people need to be in a job and work environment that are compatible with their intrinsic desires," concludes Reiss. "By repeatedly doing those things that fulfill your values, there is no limit to how meaningful and happy your life can be."

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LAST 15 MINUTES
Posted at 06:40 PM

Officially, my resignation will be effective in 15 minutes...

Praise the Lord!

Now what? - (my all time favorite question)

 

1 tripped the light fantastic

STILL HERE
Posted at 07:54 PM

I'm still here.

Vacation is grand! Finally catching up on a year's worth of lost sleep and books and food and friends. I'm busy, of course, was there ever a time that I wasn't? I'm taking up a short 2-week course on teaching, going on long awaited bonding sessions, marketing a play, selling stuff, texting, canvassing (hehe...yun ba ang term hellobebe?), dieting (?!), cantata practice, and slowly readjusting my body clock. Best of all, after a quarter's hiatus I'm having looong quiet times again..haay i missed these and Him.

A few minutes ago, I took a step of faith. After my interview last Tuesday, I withdrew most of my applications (save 2 out of 26). Letting go and letting God. It's actually a practical matter as well, since I'm saving money on fares and paperwork, hehe. I just realized that my being a "segurista" is hindering His work.

Anybody here knows how I can get a TIN card?  I have my number already, but the company im applying to wants to see the card. Long lines... here I go again...

I've got two more weeks of freedom before my training starts. I'm truly excited again for the first time in two years...that's something!

MAGPAPASKO NA!!!

2 tripped the light fantastic

DI AKO NAKAPUNTA
Posted at 11:20 PM

After all the excitement, savings and anticipation...di rin ako natuloy sa hillsongs concert. for the simple reason that we were not allowed to be absent for even one day in my TESOL class...no perfect attendance, no certificate. hay.

although i am a bit disappointed and someone threw a temper tantrum, at least i made another person happy. 

* * * * * *

i am now reciting "desiderata" with elaine, galing memorized ko pa pala.... got struck by the line: "if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"

so true. and im sure a lot of people think that i have it good right now (i wish).

and here's another line "neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass"

eh? grass? grass lives only for a day or a week at most.... so love is fleeting? di ko gets. unless the author is referring to bamboo; that can last for centuries. hehe. sorry im rambling.

* * * * *  *

i want to hibernate. but some things simply are not meant to be. if i want to eat, that is.

2 tripped the light fantastic

MOVIE WATCHING
Posted at 07:12 PM

I managed to scrounge up enough time and money to watch two flicks: Casino Royale and Happy Feet.  All I can say is:

I wish I knew how to tapdance

and

Ako lang ba ang nakaka-appreciate kay Daniel Craig?!!! Then again, ok lang ...

He's all mine, no need to share, haha!

 

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