PAGHAHASIK
Posted at 10:55 AM

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COME NEAR
Posted at 09:13 AM

"Come near to God and He will come near to you..."

 I've been pretty much avoiding, evading and ignoring him these past few weeks. End result? Confusion. Lack of joy. Teetering relationships and an even more precarious temper. Hay.

 

My prayer is this: 

"Bring me back to you..." 

 

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MAJOR ISSUES
Posted at 09:35 AM

Sorry for all the job related posts… it’s all I have been thinking about for the past 2 months… well, almost all the time. I realized that I have indeed inherited her workaholic gene…. And that all work and no play has made me a very unhappy girl.

 

Got a love-hate relationship once more with my work. Okay boss/es, okay officemates, challenging work, convenient location. But the uncertainty, the long and early hours, so-so benefits (Lord, wage increase please my appetite is making me bankrupt), and the constant exodus of people is depressing. Any satisfaction I get is fleeting. I’m giving this another 4 months. If there is no marked change for the better in my professional status, that’s the signal for me to move on.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

 

We have not really talked in months. She is giving me time and attention alright, but way too late for me to appreciate it. Now is the time to cut, not tighten the apron strings. I know I am her biggest disappointment. Being told so constantly hurts. I’m not a masochist; I’ll keep my distance.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

 

My status these past four years has been “actively waiting.” At the back of my mind though, I never thought it would happen. I could never get it. There seemed to be no time left over after everything else I have to do, no energy remaining after all the demands and responsibilities. Too many questions and not enough answers. Atsaka may agreement kami ni Lord: “Pakibakuran po ako hangga’t di pa ako handa.” I didn’t give anyone a chance because, as a friend kept on accusing me, I think too much for my own good.

 

Then …wham!

 

The past few months have given me a clue that something like this might happen…I just refused to accept the obvious until it slapped me in the face. This is not the way I imagined it would be at all; it is definitely different from what I hoped for. Now it’s a jumbled mix of happy-guilty-funny-paranoid-giddy-concerned-amazed-feelingold-naïve-excited-confused-reckless-etcetc all at the same time.

 

He is sure, and I am… praying.

 

Timer starts now. A year and a half is a long time. A year and a half goes by quickly. A lot can happen in a year and a half.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

 

Backsliding is not fun at all. I may appear okay, I’ve been faithfully going through the motions, but for the first time in years, I am as far away from Him and all he wants me to be as I can get.

 

Major issues all of them. More negative than positive, but valleys are part of the life I’ve chosen.

2 tripped the light fantastic

A SONG FOR...
Posted at 03:47 PM

COME AWAY
Norah Jones

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

2 tripped the light fantastic

RAINY DAYS AND THURSDAYS
Posted at 09:29 AM

for the first time in a decade i think, manila is actually experiencing a signal no 3 typhoon. all my housemates are hibernating as we speak. i am so inggit.

 dapat blessing ng office ngayon, im not sure if it will push through. so now..who will eat all that food? mwahahaha. happy problem

i love my task today...compiling all the english action songs i know for the korean students. hehe. 

sana wag magbrownout

sana walang pasok ang lahat ng tao tomorrow

sana ok na siya

sana andito ka 

UPDATE: Pinapauwi na kami! yehey! walang pasok! 

2 tripped the light fantastic

GRINDING HALT
Posted at 03:30 PM

after seeing the flying trees and lampposts, i should not be surprised that we still do not have power or water here in the city. its just irritating though...coz our office has a generator, therefore we still have work. its just that this whole day is one big excuse for my irritability to flare up.hay.kasi dapat tulog ako ngayon eh.

1 tripped the light fantastic