SOWING WITH TEARS
Posted at 11:29 AM

Is what I'm doing right now. Though I scatter the seed while weeping, I believe in the harvest.

4 tripped the light fantastic

AT THIS MOMENT
Posted at 12:03 PM

To paraphrase Lucado:

What I dream of doing and what I seem able to do are separated by an impossible gulf.

And so I keep on praying...

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Yeba! Wednesday na bukas!
Posted at 04:40 PM

The project I was hired for is now in full swing. My bosses are mostly out of town, so the past few weeks has been one big surprise after another. My job description is a bit vague; it seems to change depending on the person I ask. But since organizing is supposed to be my forte, i gave it my best shot.

It's supposed to be fun, After all, it's my third year to be involved in this program. How hard can it be? I know most of the volunteers and any activity with kids is a guaranteed hit.

But no. I am so stressed out. my ignorance is painful; i have learned never to assume.

 The past 3 weeks has been a rollercoaster of overtime work, deadlines met and unmet, endless calls to suppliers, volunteer call-outs, supplies marketing, coordinating with people I have never met, emails and texts and excel and word, etc etc.

And sadly, seemingly endless criticisms, lack of appreciation, accusations and arguments.  It's difficult to work with someone who can't seem to understand the difference between what's personal and professional. It's even more difficult when you can't make a quick escape and that person is unavoidable.

And it's driving me to tears of frustration that I can't (won't) change my attitude and behavior...that I actually let that person manipulate me all the time.

I should have prayed more.

I will pray more.

Hay. Rebuke:

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ live sin me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

WISH LIST:

1. spiritual retreat (mahaba sana, in a quiet beautiful place)

2. time to read

3. no AAS related stuff for more than 2 days

4. no warfare

5. more patience

6. new shoes (lots of them)

7. Ice Age 2

8. shawarma

9. hugs

10. laughter

11. hibernation

12. jamming

13. discernment/directions

14. distance

15. a new job by july

Praise God Wednesday na bukas.

 

1 tripped the light fantastic

AFTER A YEAR
Posted at 11:11 AM

Isang taon na halos ang nakalipas mula nang nagmartsa ako...

what do i have to show for it?

1. a job and a brimming resume

2. in the middle of another molding (breaking) process

3. people moving in, out and around my sphere

4. mood swings 

5. a renewed appreciation for prayer

6. learning what worship truly is

7. a glimmer of my calling

8. finally letting go and letting God

9. knowing how patient the Father can be

10. loving and being loved

11. impending bumhood

12. thirst for the Word and fellowship

13. missing friends and meeting new ones

14. semi-conquering technology

15. realizing that i am not superhuman

16. no more tubao =(

 

BTW: Namiss ko na sila...di ko pa rin madetach sarili ko sa esbi manila:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/svcf

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HAY
Posted at 06:01 PM

Paano ba naman akong di magkakamoodswings, e within the space of a few hours:

1. napuri kami

2. nadiskubre kong uwian ako ulit ng LP simula Mayo (WAAAAAAAH)

3. may masarap na kalamay

4. sumusumpong hyperacidity ko

Ako mismo nahihilo sa sarili ko ngayon.

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RECUERDO
Posted at 11:31 AM

Dime porque lloras
de felicidad
y porque te ahogas
por la soledad
di porque me tomas
fuerte asi, mis manos
y tus pensamientos
te van llevando

Yo te quiero tanto
y porque sera
loco testarudo
no lo dudes mas
aunque en el futuro
haya un muro enorme
yo no tengo miedo
quiero enamorarme

No me ames
porque pienses
que parezco diferente
tu no piensas que es lo justo
ver pasar el tiempo juntos

No me ames
que comprendo
la mentira que seria
Si tu amor no merezco
no me ames
mas quedate otro dia

No me ames
porque estoy perdido
porque cambie el mundo
porque es el destino
porque no se puede
somos un espejo
y tu asi serias
lo que yo de mi reflejo

No me ames
para estar muriendo
dentro de una guerra
llena de arrepentimientos
No me ames
para estar en tierra
quiero alzar el vuelo
con tu gran amor
por el azul del cielo

No se que decirte
esa es la verdad
si la gente quiere
sabe lastimar

Tu y yo partiremos
ellos no se mueven
pero en este cielo
sola no me dejes

No me dejes, no me dejes
no me eschuches
si te digo no me ames
no me dejes, no desarmes
mi corazon con ese no me ames

No me ames, te lo ruego
mi amargura dejame
sabes bien, que no puedo
que es inutil
que siempre te amare

No me ames
pues te hare sufrir
con este corazon que
se lleno de mil inviernos
no me ames
para asi olvidarte
de tus dias grises
quiero que me ames
solo por amarme

No me ames
tu y yo volaremos
uno con el otro
y seguiremos siempre juntos
este amor es como el sol que sale
tras de la tormenta
como dos cometas
en la misma estela

No me ames
No me ames
No me ames

No, no me ames
No me ames
No me ames
No me ames


Marc:
Why are you crying?

Jennifer:
Because I'm happy

Marc:
Why are you so choked up?

Jennifer:
From loneliness

Marc:
Why are you squeezing
my hand so tight
And your mind seems to be wandering

Jennifer:
I love you so much!

Marc:
Why?

Jennifer:
Don't be so hard-headed
Stop doubting me!
It doesn't matter what the future holds
I'm not afraid
I just want to love you

Marc:
Don't love me
because you think I'm different

Jennifer:
You don't think it's right for us
to spend this time together?

Marc:
Don't love me because I know
what a lie it would be!

Jennifer:
If you don't think I deserve your love
then don't love me
I'm going to stay...

Marc:
Don't love me because I'm lost
because I change the world
because it's destiny
because this is impossible
We are like a mirror image of each other
we are one and the same

Jennifer:
Don't love me to be dying
in a war of regret
Don't love me to hold me back
I want to rise above
this love deserves to soar through the sky

Marc:
I don't know what to say
That's the truth
When people want to
they can really hurt you

Jennifer:
If you and I part now
it won't matter to anyone else
In this big world
don't leave me all alone

Marc:
Don't leave me...don't leave me
Don't listen when I say don't love me

Jennifer:
Don't leave me
Stop breaking my heart with that
Don't love me

Marc:
Don't love me, I'm begging you to leave

Jennifer:
You know very well I can't do that
It's useless, I'll always love you

Marc:
Don't love me
I'll only make you suffer
my heart has turned cold with this

Jennifer:
Don't love me
to run away from your sadness
I want you to love me
because you love me

Marc:
Don't love me
One day we'll soar with each other
and be together forever

Jennifer:
This love is like the sun
that comes out after a terrible storm

Both:
Like two comets in the same galaxy

Marc:
Don't love me

Jennifer:
Don't love me

Marc:
Don't love me,,,

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SA NGAYON
Posted at 03:04 PM

Buhay pa naman ako. Stressed, pikon at iyakin, pero humihinga pa. Salamat at pasensya sa mga napagbubuhusan ko ng sama ng loob.

6 more weeks. Then I'm free.

Napatunayan ko lang talaga na absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

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AAS MODE:OFF
Posted at 03:12 PM

8 Saturdays akong may trabaho dahil sa proyektong itatago nating sa pangalan na AAS. Narealize ko na "i have no life" after a month of ot, ot and more ot. yung mga tipong 10pm ang pinakamaagang uwi at naii-insomnia dahil sa mental checklist ng madaling araw that goes, nakalimutan ko ba ang...? Wala na akong time magtext or mapakinabangan ang unli. CR na lang halos ang pahinga ko (medyo seryoso yan ha). Grabedad. Isa na akong kulani na tinubuan ng tao.

Kaya for the next 40 hours, AAS mode OFF. Gigimik ako. KC reunion. Baby shower. Aircon ng mall. Church. Book. Sleep.

 

 

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SOMETIMES GOD SAYS NO
Posted at 01:06 PM

Can you imagine the outcome if a parent honored each request of each child during a trip? We’d inch our bloated bellies from one ice-cream store to the next….Can you imagine the chaos if God indulged each of ours?…

 

 

 

“For God has not destined us to the terrors of judgment, but to the full attainment of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1Thessalonians 5:9

 

 

 

Note God’s destiny for your life. Salvation.

 

 

 

God’s over arching desire is that you reach that destiny. His itinerary includes stops that encourage your journey. He frowns on stops that deter you. When his sovereign plan and your earthly plan collide, a decision must be made. Who’s in charge of this journey?

 

 

 

If God must choose between your earthly satisfaction and your heavenly salvation, which do you hope he chooses?

 

 

Me too. - From Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado

 

 

 

He is saying no to me about a lot of things:

 

 

1. leaving h***
2. staying h***
3. an overnight bonding sana
4. going too fast
5. knowing too soon
6. complacency

them

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